Down and out...

Julia has been feeling a little off lately. Last Tuesday while at work she started fussing and felt warm so I took her temperature and it registered at 101.7. We immediately packed it up and went home for the day... it just so happened that the Dad was also out of town through Friday. Not good timing to have a sick baby and no Dad to help... but anyway... I dosed her with Tylenol which seemed to do the trick and she felt a little better but her eating habits were totally out of whack along with her sleeping habits.

Onto Wednesday... hoping it was just a 24 hours thing, we went to work on Wednesday but she was still eating poorly and started spitting up at each feeding which is out of character for her. After spit up #4 both she and I were covered in throw up so we dosed up some more Tylenol and packed it up and headed home. Much of the same through the evening, but she wasn't sleeping all too well, so we were up every 2+ hours or so, pacing the floor trying to find some type of comfort.

Next came Thursday... still registering a slight temperature we plowed through the day with more crying, lots of dirty diapers, little sleeping, even less eating and then a call to the advice nurse. I wanted to make sure what I was doing or not doing was right for someone in her condition. Sounded like everything I could do I was doing and she added that if the fever continues to spike or rear it's ugly head for more than 72 hour straight to come in and see our Pediatrician.

Freaking Friday... one day I will not forget anytime soon. Sleeping was not any better, eating was a little better but by noon another fever spiked and I called to make an appointment with the doc. We headed out the door to Kaiser and was promptly seen by Dr. Millar. Her weight was up to 15 lbs 3 oz, which is great, her temperature, though, was 100.7. Not horrible but not great especially since it had been 4 days at this point. With no outward symptoms, he ordered a urine sample. Do you know how to get a urine sample from a 15 week old baby? Catheter! Now as adults, we HATE these things... can you imagine what a little tiny baby thinks? After 20 minutes of screams and tears, the nurse was not successful at the catheter, so they taped a bag on her, closed up her diaper and told us to wait for her to go on her own. In the meantime the doc ordered a chest x-ray and some lab work.

Down to Radiology we went. X-rays. Hmmm. I can handle this, after all she has had an ultrasound on her hips, how bad can an x-ray be? For the record, an x-ray on an infant is another word for TORTURE! Sitting up, with her legs dangling in this contraption they have me hold her arms up over her head. Doesn't sound too bad, I can hold her still. That was not the plan. They closed this clear plastic tube tightly around her torso and head while her hands are up over her head. Her face was peeking through a cut out in the plastic and the tech then went in and taped her head into the tube. While screaming bloody murder they face her against the x-ray machine and ask me to leave the room. Now, I am a NICU mom, I can handle this, right?! Nope! I am standing in the hallway listening to the tech say "It's ok, one more shot" over and over while Julia is screaming on the top of her lungs. Should make for a good x-ray but I am sure she is traumatized for life now, and if she isn't I am. When they called me back in, she was still stuffed into what they call a Pigg-O-Stat (google it, I did) and she was looking at me with her big brown eyes crying out for me to save her! Deep breathe as I live the torture. Result - Chest x-ray was normal.

Over to the lab... all I can do is make the best of it. She has already had an unsuccessful catheter, a torturous x-ray and now they want to draw blood from her arm - ON A 15 WEEK OLD INFANT! We check in and sit down. They feel for a vein, tourniquet and all. She is screaming and squirming and the lab tech thinks she finds something worth poking. She cleans her arm with alcohol and then goes to the front desk to check in the next guy. He is only there to pick up a specimen cup, which she cannot find. As we sit and wait, Julia crying I realize that she needs to pee and since they taped a bag to her little vajay-jay and closed up her diaper, her body heat (remember she has a fever) must have melted to seal on the bag and instead of filling the bag or her diaper, she has peed all over me and the lab chair. I am now sitting and waiting for the lab tech to find a specimen cup or some other dude, call other facilities in the area and proceed to look in every cupboard and drawer as I sit holding a fussy, warm temperatured sick baby that has just peed all over my lap. Now it looks like I peed my pants! She finally comes back and digs all around in Julia's arm with a needle and cannot get a vein. She tells us she can't do it and to go to another Kaiser Lab. I am tired, worried, stressed, pissed, and pissed on - and we still don't know what is causing Julia's fever.

Back up to the doctors office, he checks her urine output, tries to test what urine is left in the bag and tells us to go to Manteca for lab work and once we are done with the labs to check into Pediatrics over there for an antibiotic injection.

Labs at Manteca went much better. Still had tears but at least they got the blood sample they needed. Over to Peds and the injection caused yet another round of tears. Once she calmed we had to remain there for 30 minutes to check for a reaction. She nursed, fell asleep just to be waken for a rectal temperature reading. Note: She hates rectal readings!

After all the chaos, we were told we needed to return on Saturday for a follow up.

Saturday... now the Dad is home, thank goodness! We return to Kaiser, still no clear sign of why she has a fever, antibiotic injection #2 and we wait... wait for the blood culture to grow for 24, 48, and 72 hours.

Being sick royally sucks. Being a sick baby really sucks. Trying to handle all of it with no husband totally sucks. Here we are on Monday, she has pretty much been fever free for 24 hours. It elevates a bit during the day but she seems to feel better.

Where has the time gone?

Holy cow... time is flying by! Let's see... what has Julia been up to? Well, she is the cutest thing ever... oh ya, you already know that, don't you!?



Let me sum up the last month...

1. Mad dash to Carmel for a week long vacation before returning to work. Julia had a great time and so did we. Pictures are at a minimum as every time we went out we forgot the camera. We did catch a few stills on our video camera but so far I have no idea how to retrieve them.
2. She is smiling way more. She has been doing this for quite some time, starting out only smiling for her daddy, but now she regularly smiles at anyone who looks her way.
3. She loves her activity mat, laying and playing for up to 30 minutes. Her activity mat is a rainforest theme with lights and sounds. She loves to bat and kick at the hanging animals. She started out punching them but now grabs them pretty good.
4. She tried out her jumperoo, but is still a little too small for that activity. As I tried taking pictures, she fell face forward an bumped her check bone. I thought we were going to have her first black eye, but thankfully we didn't. No calling CPS!
5. Back to work... Julia has successfully gone to work with me for a week. She did great her first week but today had an elevated temperature so we worked from home so she didn't disturb the others in our work area.
6. Swimming! Omigosh - she loves the water. We started putting her in the big tub while in Carmel and ever since she loves being in the water. Now bath time is in the big bath tub and she loves it... so much, she screams when it is time to get out. Since she was enjoying the tub we look her swimming in the BIG pool. She loves to kick her legs and splash with her arms and hands. No pictures of pool time, not with me in a bathing suit! No way!
7. Ally Zabba. This is her new blanket. She loves it! It is silk on one side and soft fluffy material on the reverse. She grabs it, sucks on it, rubs her face with it - just loves it!
8. Julia attended her first March for Babies event in memory of her big brother Will. She slept most of the time and woke just to eat. Uneventful for her, but we raised over $1200 so we are very happy about that! And our team from Dameron Hospital won first place in the t-shirt contest!

Here are some pictures to enjoy!

Our morning girl... she loves morning time (unlike her Mommy!).

First time in the Jumperoo... still a wee bit too small for it, so we will wait on this one.

Smiles for Nana... I was on the phone with Nana and when I told Julia that Nana was on the phone, she just smiled and smiled!

After a long day of swimming, well actual only 20 minutes or so, but she just crashes afterward. Tired girl.

This is from today, when she had a fever, complete with wash cloth and her new favorite blanket, her Ally Zabba. Look how big her feet are!

It has been over a week since we blogged! Wow, time is really flying by these days, probably because I am gearing up to return to work. Where I work, we have a program called Babies in the Workplace where I am able to take Julia to work with me until she is 8 months or crawling... so I have been preparing to transition her to a new environment. We have purchased a second playard and boppy pillow and also have been shopping for work clothes for both of us! As she gets more active, I may need to bring an activity mat to keep her stimulated too. I imagine if the playard is not needed I may just need to purchase a travel swing or second bouncy chair, we shall see.

Today we are getting ready to go out for a playdate with Aly and Charlie. Charlie was born just over a week after Julia and Aly is a former co-worker of mine. The weather is warm, so we are meeting for lunch indoors! I haven't seen Aly for over a year but chat often in email on on Facebook, so it will be nice to catch up and compare baby stories.

Julia is definitely a morning person, not sure where she gets that because I surely am not! She wakes up after 8+ hours of sleep and coos and laughs. She is all smiles in the morning, which is such an amazing site to wake to! Her mornings are pretty consistent so I am hoping they continue because getting ready for work will be pretty easy.

The family (wow, that is a weird word) is going to Carmel on Tuesday for 5 days! We will be staying at the Highlands Inn, where we are vacation owners. It will be Julia's first trip and we are exited to take her to the wharf, 17 mile drive, and downtown Carmel. The weather should be cool, so we will bundle her up and hit the road.

Hopefully I will have some great pictures from vacation to share!

Julia's 1st Easter

"Easter time... Mom is a bad photographer, because my feet are not that big!"

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"Who's idea was it to wake me up? Can't a girl get any beauty sleep around here?"

"I told you not to wake me, now you will pay dearly!"

" Someone tell Nana that tutu's don't belong on your head!"


"Or around your neck... but I sure look cute, don't I?"


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Princess for a Day...

...oh who am I kidding? She will always be our little princecess! But today was especially so. Twenty-four hours after her first set of immunizations Julia came down with a fever of 101.9. It might as well have been 201.9 because it broke my heart to see her not feeling well. I know, I know, I better get used it it... but it was a first. After Tylenol, sleep, a cool wash cloth, and love from Mommy, she is already starting to feel better.

Here are some pictures from yesterday's injections and from today's ordeal.

And she sleeps...

(yes, she still has her faux-hawk, thanks to Daddy!)

Little one has taken over an entire home theater seat... don't tell Daddy, but I think he has lost his seat to Julia!

2 month check up

Today our little Miss had her 2 month check up at exactly 9 weeks old. Dr. Millar said she is doing great and of course we think so too!

As of 4/6/2009
Weight: 12 lbs 8 ozs - 83 percentile
Length: 24.5 inches - 98 percentile

I had a laundry list of concerns/questions for the doc and all of them were answered with"that's normal" or "that's normal and she will outgrow it".

Many people said that the first set of immunizations are hard to handle as a parent... I was extremely calm and it really did not bother me at all. Of course she cried, but for only 30 seconds or less. I think once you experience a child in the NICU, a parent can handle almost anything. Seeing how huge the needles were, seeing my baby girl cry, seeing her injection site bleed... it didn't really bother me. I was still reeling from the joy of the overall outcome of her 2 month check up when the doc said she is doing great. That is what is important... she is healthy. God is good!

Thinking about Will today, how old he would be. 17 months. Wow. He, too, is healthy... and whole and waiting to see us again in heaven, watching over us now. We miss you and love you little man!

Weekend Update

It has been over a week since our last post. Julia keeps us so busy and we love every minute of it. She has been taking 0.6 mL of Children's Zantac twice a day for reflux and it really has been helping her (and us) get more sleep. Life before Zantac consisted of hours of painful screaming on Julia's part and painful tears on Mom and Dad's part. =( The Zantac helps to keep the acid in her tummy more neutralized, therefore, it isn't bubbling up into her throat. She has her first round of immunizations this week, hoping she tolerates them well. We love her pediatrician, Dr. Millar, he is so responsive whenever I have a question. I just send an email and within an hour or so I get a response!

We took her out to the Crossroad's Street Faire here in Manteca yesterday, while the street faire was a little lame, she slept through the entire afternoon, even missed the yummy corn dogs!

Here are a few pictures from last week. I love taking pictures of Julia when David holds her because she still looks little, see the one with her towel below.

She loves bath time - and who wouldn't with this luxurious towel! Bath towel is from Little Giraffe, ridiculously expensive for a bath towel, but soft and cozy. It was a gift and we love it!

Looking so tiny in her car seat, her little face looks so different when she is strapped in. The straps square off her little cheeks but she is getting used to her seat and usually sleeps in it the majority of the time we are out. As I type this she is sleeping in it, because when we got home I didn't want to disturb her, so I just left her in it.

This is the day we went to the Street Faire, she looks so serious. Note the belly... she is a good eater, that's for sure! We are starting to put bows in her hair. Dad doesn't love them, but I think they are cute. Headbands are a different story, she hates those!

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P.S. Please support our efforts for this year's March for Babies. Our goal is $2500 and we are doing a great job so far! David, Julia and I will all be marching in memory of Will. This year we have roped in Dameron Hospital and the NICU Support Group. We are going to blow the pants off the goal this year, I can feel it!! Donate in Will's memory today!

Wordless Wednesday...

So many pictures...

Seriously, usually the photographer offers 40 proofs to choose from and she gave us 73! And of course as a mother of a newborn, I want them all! But, darn, professional photographs can really add up!

So I have narrowed it down to 27. Still need to decide sizes. It is unreal how much Julia has changed from 4 weeks ago. She just keeps getting more amazing every day.

We are dealing with a little infant acid reflux which keeps her up at night. As a precaution we started her on probiotics. Interestingly enough, formula manufacturers are beginning to add probiotics to infant formula too... so it will be a good addition to her nutrition. For acid reflux we also starting giving her Mylanta as recommended by Dr. Simko, the Dameron Neonatalogist. So far she is sleeping peacefully tonight, so it may be helping! =)

So, since she is sleeping I am asking myself why I am still up - so maybe I will try to sleep! Good night!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Checking in...

Julia continues to get bigger - way to quickly. Last night we weighed her here at home (me on the scale and then me on the scale with her) and she weighed 13 pounds! She has already outgrown many of her clothes as I just went through her dresser and packed up an entire box full. I cannot believe how big she looks when I watch other people hold her... she is very long, like Daddy.

We still have a bad night here and there. I think we are pretty much beyond the gassiness, but onto acid reflux now. Thankfully it does not happen all the time or even every night, just once in a while... but when it happens we are prepared for no sleep, a lot of tears (both hers and mine), many diaper changes, burping, pacing, bouncing, swishing, and singing - all with little reaction from Julia... but when she finally goes to sleep, she does sleep for about 4 hours!

My brother and his family will be out visiting this coming week to meet Julia and more importantly deliver my Girl Scout cookies! =) My sister-in-law had a great idea to have pictures taken of my two nieces and Julia. The original plan was to have the pictures done and surprise my mom for her birthday, but we have let her in on the secret so we can have her in the picture too! Nothing like Nana and her girls!

Later this week, this topic will get it's own post...

May 16th - March for Babies 2009 - Weber Point Center in Stockton, CA.

In memory of Will, David and I will once again be Marching for Babies to raise money for March of Dimes to help put an end to premature birth, birth defects and infant loss. Please visit my MOD web page for more information at www.marchforbabies.org/all4will. This year I am joined by the NICU Parents group and NICU Nurses of Dameron Hospital. Please support us as we march for Will and other preemie families and the caregivers we have meet in the past year and a half.

Got Milk...?

As of late, Julia has been eating more and more. I am curious on how much she weighs because she is eating more at each feeding and her feedings are more often too. I am trying to pump so that we can store milk for David to cover late night feedings. So far, so good... she is taking to the type of bottle we are using like a champ.

We had a little photo shoot of our own this morning as we wait for the professional photographer's proofs to become available. Those pictures should be ready very soon but for now, you will have to put up with my amateur shots (and I had to throw in a couple candid shots too).

Daddy loves to make me wear a mohawk!

I love Mommy this much!

Not sure, you tell me.. with the bow?

Or without the bow? Too girly?

Ultrasound

Yesterday Julia was scheduled for an ultrasound in her hips. Kaiser does this as a precaution for all babies born breech. She was a complete angel during the exam and the results were back within 2 hours.

Dr. Millar called and said the ultrasound was totally normal - and her hips are just fine!

Sleeping baby... so sweet, so innocent.

These pictures are usually following a long and drawn out battle of crying, kicking, flailing of arms and if we are lucky - maybe a little passing of gas.

Now, if she can get to this state of being without the drama, we would all be a bit happier (and probably a lot more rested too).

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But seriously, aside of the typical newborn gassiness, Julia continues to be an amazing little baby. She is staying awake longer lately and loves to explore her surroundings. I was hoping to get out this week but would hate to drag her out in this ugly weather we are having.

Well Baby Appointment

Today we met with Julia's new pediatrician, Dr. Millar. We previously had a pediatrician appointment the day after we came home from the hospital - but it was on a Saturday and we saw the on call weekend doctor, not her assigned doc.

The appointment went great - she is a healthy baby girl, experiencing all the newborn stuff that is to be expected... gas, spit up, etc. Dr. Millar seems really down to earth and a good doctor.

We are scheduled for an ultrasound on her hips. This is just a routine ultrasound that is done when babies are breech. Every visual exam she has had to date shows her hips are normal.

As of 2/25/2009
Weight: 9 lbs 15 oz - 83 percentile
Length: 23 inches - 100 percentile
Head Circumference: 14.49" - 57 percentile

Sleep!

OMIGOSH - sleep is good! Being able to sleep for 3 hours straight at night is such a luxury and we are on a roll! We have been able to sleep better in the past few days and are so happy!

Julia continues to be a grunter and growler when she sleeps, it is soooo funny to listen/watch. I won't know how much she weighs until Wednesday, but she appears to be growing an changing so much.

I have been thinking a lot about all the missed opportunities we had with Will and at times feel like we need to over compensate with Julia... pregnancy hormones are really getting the best of me. So for now, I insist on holding her and spoiling her as much as possible!

This coming week will be a busy one.

Monday - Newborn Photo Shoot
Tuesday - March of Dimes "March for Babies" Kick-off Luncheon
Wednesday - Pediatrician Appointment
Thursday - NICU Parents Meeting and Baby Shower

This is a busy schedule for us, as we continue to find our groove with eating, sleeping, and diaper changes. Besides that, everything is wonderful. David's nephew and his wife will be visiting tomorrow from Southern California. They recently found out they are expecting, so congratulations to them!

Reflection

There are moments during each day that I cannot help to think about Will and how life would be today if he was here with us. Some days I smile and think back on the memories we shared with him and other days I just sit and cry and cannot believe what we have endured since the day he was born, wishing so much that he was here.

If Will was here today...
...would Julia be here too?
...or would he be an only child?
...would we have all the support of family/friends that we have today?
...would we be the same people we are today?
...how would our life be?

Because of our experience with Will...
...we have grown in our faith.
...we experienced love like no other (which continues with Julia).
...we have made so many connections with other NICU families.
...we have experienced life differently (and will continue to do so).
...we have Julia.

As we thank God everyday for Julia, we also thank Him for taking care of Will in heaven. Life as we know it today is part of a bigger plan that we may never understand, but we will embrace as we take this journey.

Weekend Update

Wide awake, hanging out with Mom and Dad.

Sleeping with her favorite Daddy!

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Valentine's Day 2009

Sleep is getting a little better... or we are just handling the sleep deprivation. Julia continues to be amazing. She has become quite the "grunter" when she sleeps. She makes all kinds of noise when she is sleeping, which I read it common.

We were watching/listening to Dunstan Baby Language today. We are hoping to decode what each cry means so we can tend to her better. Sounds funny, but some of the definitions of the different cries were right on.

My Aunt Vivian sent a gift over with my Mom and it was a handmade blanket and little newborn sleeper. It was a perfect outfit for Valentine's Day. She is starting to out grow her newborn sizes and 3 months are still too big. I am going to sort through and pick out anything that is labeled 0-3 months hoping this size will get us through until she fits into 3 months.

Our next appointment with the Pediatrician isn't until 2/25 so we will have to wait until then to see how much she has grown... but I know she is growing, that's for sure!

Just waking from a nap.

Either Mommy is really funny or I have gas...

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Sleep has been better the past two nights. She is taking to her bassinet much better and loves her swing too! We only use the swing when we are downstairs, but we are finding out she loves to hang out in it.

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Diaper changes are becoming a defensive sport. There have been quite a few occasions where she plans to pee right as I move the dirty diaper out from under her and just before I can strategically place the new diaper down. Even though everything I have read and have been told about urine being bacteria free, each occasion has warranted a sponge bath, which she seems to like.

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Tomorrow marks the end of week 2 of David's time off, with one more week to go. It will be an adjustment not to have him here, to say the least. He is such a good daddy and an awesome husband! And coming up on Monday, the 23rd, Julia will take part in her first photo shoot with Misty from Misty's Portraits.

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Everyone is doing good... eating, sleeping and pooping!

Sleep? Who needs sleep?!

During the day she has periods when she is wide awake and so alert, listening to her parents babble to her... she must think we are crazy!

When we were in the hospital, the nurse would take Julia at midnight for her daily assessment which includes weight check, diaper change, and a complete visual assessment... AND then they would keep her for 3 hours so I could get some uninterrupted sleep. I know, I know, nice... huh?

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When we got home on Friday, Julia was so good, she slept for three hours at a time and woke for a diaper change and to eat and then back to sleep. I think we were in the honeymoon stage because both Sunday night and Monday night were not smooth sailing. Both nights I think she was a bit gassy and did not want to sleep in her bassinet for more than 10 minutes at a time. She showed signs of hunger so I would feed her a bit and he would fall asleep again... for 10 minutes and then we would start the routine over. This continued until 3:00 am when I decided I could not handle it. I took her down stairs and held her as I reclined on the recliner and she liked it better, so there we slept for 3 hours straight. Her swaddled up and warm, me stiff and uncomfortable. Monday night - repeat of the same.

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Tonight our game plan is to break down and use Mylicon or Gripe Water that is used for colic and gas to see if her evening sleep pattern improves. She sleeps great during the day, so we are hoping it will work.

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Also, I am scouring the internet and researching what to avoid in my post-pregnancy diet trying to relieve some of her discomfort, in case I am causing it from what I am eating and passing to her through breastmilk. Wish us luck. Sleep is good. :-)

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Fussy baby.

Happy baby.